Their bark is worse than their bite....I think

We were in the library today, working on typing fiction stories, when another teacher poked her head in. "Can I talk to you?" she said. I glanced around the room, saw no imminent disasters, and met her in the hallway. Apparently three of my boys had been overheard talking at lunch about their plans to kill the gym teacher on the last day of school and hide his body. Hmmm. Sounds like time to talk to the principal! She ended up calling the police (more to scare the shit out of them than anything else, I think) and suspending them for three days. So, next week ought to be pretty peaceful......I'm just glad I didn't hear it, so I don't have to be involved in any way.

While they were down in the office, the psychologist called me, to let me know what was going on. She asked if I thought they would really do it. It took me a minute to figure out what she meant. Do I think they really said it? Sure. Do I think they would really kill the gym teacher? Hell no. They're only ten. Now I know we have to take stuff like this seriously these days, but please. Then she asked me if they knew they were in trouble. "Well, since they've been in the principal's office for the last hour, I sure hope they know they're in trouble......unless they're not in the office, in which case they are DEFINITELY in trouble." Yikes. What an afternoon. For the principal, I mean -- for me it was perfectly lovely. The class was almost silent!

Frozen Dead Guy Days and CSAP testing

Ahh, what a combo. We just finished our first week of state-wide testing -- that's six tests for fifth graders, all in reading or writing -- with another week of math and science beginning tomorrow. What this means for me, besides endless hours of wandering the aisles and telling kids that I'm sorry, but no, I can't tell them what foreshadowing means, is two weeks with very little in the way of planning or grading. (I give kids two weeks off of homework. They think it's for their benefit.) Fellow teachers seem to stress out during CSAP, but I love it. Free time!

So this weekend, instead of grading papers, I drove up to Boulder to see my parents. We decided it was a hair too chilly to get out on our bikes, so instead we drove up to Nederland for Frozen Dead Guy Days! It's a completely ridiculous event that I have been meaning to go to for at least five years, so I was excited to finally make it. We got there in time for the parade of hearses, shivered through the polar plunge (they had to chainsaw out the two-foot thick ice before competitors jumped into the pond), ate lunch, and watched the final heats of the coffin races, an obstacle course which must be completed by a team of seven (six pallbearers and one 'corpse' riding in the coffin). It was hilarious. I only wish I had my camera. Here is a short video from last year, though.

The event is inspired by a real-life (pun intended) frozen dead guy from Norway, who was cryogenically preserved after his death by his grandson, and who is currently stored in a Tuff Shed (sealed in liquid nitrogen and packed in dry ice) in Nederland. Shortly after discovering his existence, the town passed an anti-frozen dead guys ordinance, so don't go thinking you can do this yourself. He was, however, grandfathered in, and now the town holds this annual festival to draw tourists and have some zany late-winter fun.